Wait...what?

I'm going to start calling people who don't act Christ-like "vampires".

Yes, yes, I know..."glass house/stones", "splinter your eye/lightpole in mine", etc.

It's called a "joke".  Sarcasm...look it up.

Anyway, I'm not really sure where some of the vampire myth specifics started, and frankly I'm kinda sick this morning and...ok, I'm too lazy to look it up.

Happy?  Moving on.

So, I was taking a shower last night and as I was washing myself I had one of those "PING" thoughts; you know, thinking "A" pings to "B" which pings to "C" then pings to "D" and before you know it you're nowhere near where you started, and you're somewhere brought to you by the letters "W", "T", and "F".

WTF?

Kinda like that picture.  Not where I started, but where I ended up...and hey, Katy Perry cleavage.  "C" is good enough for me.

Anyway, I digress...where was I...Oh!  Right.

So, I was showering and I thought about "wood".  Hush. Just...hush.  So, wood jumped to "stake"...again with the hushing!  Stake jumped to vampire, and then vampire jumped to the myth where vampires rise after being dead three days and...and they....wait a second.

That's interesting.  Vampires rise as vampires after dying and being dead three days; Jesus died and rose again on the third day.

Myself: I wonder...are there any other parallels or reversals between the two...?

Apparently, there are if you look.  No, it's not a complete match, but enough to make you wonder if maybe Bram Stoker just said, "Ok, let's take Jesus and reverse everything about him and we'll tie that to the vampire blood-drinking myth, cuz hey...it's always about the blood, right?"

Which brings us to the blood.  Lots of vampiric power comes from blood.  It's what keeps them alive.  Ironically, for Christians, the blood of Christ is what they derive forgiveness from...and since the "wages of sin are death", they also derive life from His blood.

There's power in the blood, indeed.

Vampires take their blood by violent attack and seduction; the whole "volunteering" blood is a recent pop-culture construct, one popularized by television shows such as Buffy the Vampire SLayer.

Yes, the "L" is capitalized...after fucking two vampires, "Vampire Layer" is also accurate.

Buffy and Spike

Buffy and Angel

Buffy and Satsu

Wait, what?  Buffy slept with a Slayer too??  Yeah, in the Official Season Eight comic, Joss had her being all open-minded and experimental.  Get over it.  Like I said...SLayer.

Moving on...
So vampires take blood...but the blood for the forgiveness of Christians had to be freely given by Jesus; He went to the cross willingly, and according to Him, only He could do so. (John 10:18)  So there's a parallel and a reversal with the blood.

Oh, hey, the cross!  As we all know, the cross as a holy symbol is anathema to vampires.  Recently, again via pop culture, it's been expanded to any holy symbol or religious symbol you hold sacred (Cross for Christians, Star of David for Jews, Lightsaber for Jedi, Colander for Pastafarians, Bathrobe and Beer for Dudists)  Some might argue that the Cross is the most effective holy symbol, but it's probably solely because of the prevalence of Christianity and because Stoker wrote it that way.

Vampires are automatically damned.  Do not pass "GO", do not collect 200 blood bags, no reprieve.  I've always had an issue with that one...damnation ultimately relates to a choice on the part of a person, and some people were "turned" (made into vampires) against their will or without a choice.  I think he missed the mark on that one, probably due to lack of theological knowledge if I had to guess, but that's just a guess.  He might've been a Doctor of Theology and just decided to show how horrible vampires were by making them automagically damned.  *shrugs*  It might more tie in with the black/white view that Jesus/God/Heaven are symbolic of all that's "Good", and Lucifer/Hell/Demons being all that's "Bad".  Since vampires are the "Devil's Children", ergo "bad"; and if the Devil can't be saved, then they can't either.  Again, the antithesis of Christ and Christians.

After a short human life, vampires die and are reborn to live forever as minions to their master.  Christians live a short human life, then die to live forever with Christ as God's children, the Bride of Christ.  Christians are transformed, and the Bible promises new, powerful bodies in Heaven.  Vampires are transformed after death (during?) and receive new, powerful bodies on Earth.

Christians are saved from the Grave (death) while vampires are cursed to it, and must rise every night from their grave, and return to it before sunrise, forever UNdead, a mockery of Christian eternal life.

Vampires and garlic, and transforming into bats, wolves, and mist...Stoker was on some really good shit.  Had to be.  Just sayin'.

So, that's all I have.  Sorry it's been so long, and sorry to return with so lame, but I hope you were at least amused and entertained.  Hell, for all I know you all already knew this and are thinking, "Uh...where have you been? That's been pointed out since 'Dracula' was published."

Well, EXCUUUUUUSE ME!

Change Is A Universal Constant

When are we "ready"?  What ultimately defines us?  Even if we align ourselves with a paradigm, many of us don't ultimately follow every tenet of it; most of us customize, taking what works for us and discarding what does not.  Even if we go with the analogy that Sarah Michelle Gellar's character used in "Buffy: The Vampire Slayer", it falls flat from the whole...

To whit, Buffy said, "I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming who ever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day, I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat m- or enjoy warm, delicious, cookie me, then that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done."

It's a fine sentiment that puts forward the realization that she's a work in progress, but are we ever REALLY done?  I have to wonder at any one person that stands up proudly and utters the affirmation that they know who they are and that they have "arrived".

Really?  So, you're now going to lie down and die?  Nothing is going to happen to change your world view, your opinions..."you"?

I struggled with the concept of who I was for many, many years...decades even.  As an Aspy and a natural mimic, I questioned what and who I was up until about three years ago...it didn't help that I had friends (and some former friends) that viewed me across a spectrum that included enough personalities, beliefs, and styles that each group never questioned my participation in their little group, regardless of how different it was from another group I'd just been hanging with. To quote my Twitter profile: "To make one Sithspit: Combine hard, soft, nice, nasty, quiet, loud, rum, milk, Jesus, Nietzsche, tender, cruel, love, hate, sweet, and sour. Blend and serve."

I never socialized well as a child; grade school was a special brand of Hell, and children can be far more cruel than people give them credit for.  I never really fit in with anyone, oddly enough, especially considering my later years, but we're getting to that.  When you combine an inability to adapt socially via typical, intuitive human means with a higher than average IQ...there will be problems.  I saw nothing wrong with reading a novelization for "Bring a Book Friday" in school...but when that book is the Star Wars novelization in SECOND GRADE, the other kids tend to look at you like you're a freak.

Which they did.

But over time, since I was on the outside looking in anyway, I had occasion to watch and learn some basic skills by watching how the popular kids acted; my natural talent at being a mimic paid off handsomely in that regard.  When I changed schools my senior year, I applied all I had learned by watching others to my interactions with the new people who didn't already know me, and, with a few minor hiccups, I was suddenly...well, not POPULAR, but ACCEPTED.  Now, some of you especially bright folks are already seeing the pitfall coming, but I'll mention it anyway.

What happens when you build a life out of what you've seen others doing, copying and imitating...?

You end up like I did a few years ago, looking at your life and wondering which parts were you and which parts were just "add-ons", essentially items like clothes to be mixed, matched, and discarded, but not really YOU.

Most men in their late 30's or so have mid-life crises where they try to recapture their lost youth...I spent mine wondering where the facade ended and I began.

So who am I?  What have I become, and what should I have been?  Am I EVER going to be finished and be what I'm supposed to be as an adult?  A father?  A husband?

A human?

Only two people I can think of literally have given me pause in my confusion; when asked what I was, they both just basically said..."You."

It took me a long, long time to accept that; I can be anything to anyone, and have, but the one thing I've learned from John and Jen is this:  Accept myself for who I am, because in the end, I am all and none of those things from my past and present...I'm a blend of them all.  This makes me as unique as anyone, i.e., not at all (what is "unique" when you are ALL different?)...but what it DOES make me is just...me.

Oh, and some of you may have noticed that in the last few years I've become more outspoken about some things, and less concerned with what others think; this is called "I'm content with who and what I am...get used to it, or go away."

I will always be a work in progress; only dead things don't ever really change or grow--you have to be alive for that.  So if I'm living, change is inevitable.  I may never be complete; but I will always be just me.  

And I'm ok with that.